Some people might want sex multiple times a week. Others, once a month or less. There is no normal when it comes to a person’s love life, which is influenced by many things. However, if you’re not happy with how many times you’re getting it on, there are ways to boost it.
Your sex drive is simply your libido, or your desire for sex. There are many reasons it may not be where you want it to be. But with the right approach, and perhaps the use of sex toys, you can help your libido be the best it can be.
Potential causes for a low libido
• Ageing: It's natural for both men and women to experience a decreased sex drive as they get older. This decline can vary greatly between males and females, however, most men maintain their libidos well into their 60s, while women generally experience a dramatic decline in their desire for sex from as early as their late 40s.
• Menopause: When women enter menopause, they may experience hot flashes, night sweats, vaginal dryness and even forgetfulness. However, there are various ways to treat these symptoms from topical lubricants, oestrogen, to hormone therapy.
Other factors affecting your libido
• Antidepressants: Although antidepressants help many people, it doesn’t come without potential side effects. One of these side-affects is a potentially lower sex drive.
• Depression: People with depression may experience a loss of desire. Since the experience of arousal starts with pleasure, depression can seriously dampen this.
• Stress: Sometimes stress can make it difficult to get aroused or even think about sex. This can make people unwilling to initiate intimacy with their partners.
• Relationship problems: When one or both partners experience a low libido, it can definitely affect a relationship. However, it can also be the other way around. Sometimes, problems in the relationship, like finances, can lead to a low sex drive for one or both partners.
How to boost female libidos?
Even though there may be several reasons for low libido, it doesn’t have to stay that way. You can, with a bit of work, allow your libido to reach a point where it’s satisfying for both you and your partner.
• Hormones that boost sex drive in females: Both estrogen and testosterone play a role in maintaining and managing a women’s libido. However, hormonal imbalances can affect this. Fortunately, there are ways to easily treat hormonal imbalances. You could visit your doctor who may be able to help you identify the problem and suggest proper medication.
• Kegel exercises: Kegel exercises are simple pelvic floor exercises that you can do to strengthen the pelvic muscles. Your pelvis is the area between your hips and has a series of muscles that help control things such as your bladder. You can strengthen these muscles by clenching them as if you are holding in a pee. The benefit is stronger orgasms and a healthier sex life.
How to boost male libidos?
As discussed, men experience a whole host of libido issues as well. However, just like women, there are ways to manage these issues and improve your overall sexual wellbeing.
• Try sex toys: Sex toys can help men in a variety of ways, from solo play to foreplay with a partner. Other benefits of sex toys include reducing the impact of erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, and post-surgical problems. For example, cock rings can help men maintain an erection for longer, making it stronger, and can also help delay orgasm. The use of penis sleeves is another popular way to enjoy penetration even if you struggle to get hard.
• Penis pumps: A penis pump is a sex toy or device that works by using suction to draw blood into the penis. This causes the blood vessels in your penis to swell, making your penis bigger and harder.
• Masturbate to improve your long-term sexual health: Masturbation is a great way to improve your libido and learn more about your body. Both men and women can reap the benefits of healthy masturbation, which can especially help men keep their penis fit.
Libido boosting tips for couples
• Foreplay: Having better sex starts with better foreplay. In many cases, people can enhance their sex life by spending more time touching, licking, and kissing each other.
• Exercise: Several studies have found that regular exercise helps improve low libido and relationships in general.
• Quit smoking: Smoking can lead to a weak libido and sexual performance so quitting smoking can only be good for your health and sex life. Couples who smoke can encourage each other to quit by supporting one another through the process.
• Porn in moderation: When it comes to porn, it’s a question of intensity, degree, frequency, and type. If one partner watches porn too much and ignores their partner, then it can be bad for a relationship. But watching porn together can potentially be a boost for couples in the bedroom.
• Communication: This is perhaps the most important part. Intimacy isn't just about what happens between the sheets. It's also about understanding each other's moods, desires, and likes.
Foods & herbs that may increase your sex drive
• Spinach: Spinach contains magnesium and iron, which is known to increase your testosterone levels and can help with desire, arousal, and orgasm.
• Dark chocolate: Cocoa increases blood flow and the feel-good chemicals serotonin and dopamine in the brain. That’s why eating a little bit of dark chocolate every day can help reduce stress and make sex better.
• Green tea: A moderate amount of green tea can help get rid of free radicals thanks to the compound catechin. Like dark chocolate, green tea can also promote healthy blood flow.
• Ginger: Interestingly, ginger could potentially increase blood circulation to both the male and female genitals, which can obviously help stimulate arousal during sex or masturbation.
Improve your sex life today
Regardless of where your libido is currently at, there is no need to give up on enjoying intimacy with your partner. Simply try out the solutions above or speak to your doctor to get the sex drive you want. Remember, sex toys are also a great way to improve your overall sexual wellbeing and live a sexier life.