HOW MUCH SEX DO WE REALLY NEED?

Sex is a normal, healthy, and let’s be honest, super fun part of adult life! Many people believe that sexual attraction and compatibility, as well as the intimacy that comes with regular sexual intercourse, is the basis of most successful relationships. Research does suggest that for people in relationships, having sex is certainly linked to a sense of greater well-being and happiness.

But let’s also be clear – more doesn’t necessarily equate with better. Couples having sex twice a week aren’t any happier than those having it once a week. Let’s explore more! 

How Much Sex Does a “Normal” Person Usually Have?

Firstly, every person is unique and there is no wrong or right (or “normal”) answer for how often you should be having sex. For one, your age and physiology will determine what is a “healthy” amount.

Once a week is a common baseline, experts say. That statistic depends slightly on age though. For example, 40- and 50-year-olds tend to fall around that baseline, while 20- to 30-year-olds tend to average around twice a week. But also, you should only be doing what feels right for your relationship and sex life. 

Generally, there is a decrease in both frequency and satisfaction as couples are together longer too. In fact, the answers you’ll get from couples on how often they have sex can range from once a week to once a month! So don’t panic if factors such as work, chores, children, physical or physiological factors, or other relational issues have caused sexual frequency to diminish.

Intimacy is a biorhythm that can go up and down over a lifetime. It’s important to put in the work and keep the communication flowing.

How Do You Know If You’re Having Too Much Sex?

If you’re experiencing an extremely heightened sexual appetite, that isn’t related to a new infatuation, it could be part of a more serious issue. For example, if your sexual impulses are making you feel out of control and you’re having sex to avoid feelings of depression or loneliness, this might be a sign of a broader issue. Basically, if you ever feel like you’re using sex as a substitute for dealing with another problem, it’s probably time to consult with a sex therapist who can talk you through your experiences.

What Are the Benefits of Frequent Sexual Intimacy?

Sexual intimacy is vital in any relationship, and not just for the sensual pleasure of it all. “Closeness and connection is a human need,” explains Dr. Sanam Hafeez (NYC-based licensed clinical psychologist). “When in a long-term relationship it's important to reconnect through sex. The brain chemicals released during sex further enhance bonding.” Not to mention there are a whole host of other benefits that also come into play when you have regular sex, including: 

• Building your emotional intimacy
• Improving your cardiovascular health
• Increasing your immunity
• Reducing your stress
• Relieving any pain
• Promoting longevity
• Increasing blood circulation
• Helping you to sleep better
• Improving your overall fitness
• Increasing levels of oestrogen and testosterone
• Reducing the chances of depression
• Stabilising any mood swings 

How Do You Encourage Frequent Sex in a Relationship?

There are a lot of factors that need to fall into place to make sex something you and your partner are desiring at any given moment. However, with many couples, there can be a difference in opinion on when and where.

No couple’s willingness for sex at any given time lines up perfectly. At first, this might mean scheduling sex and making the time that leads up to the sex date more intimate. Hug each other throughout the day, exercise to increase your testosterone levels, and turn off the distractions, like the computer and TV. It takes work to sync your sex drives but it should definitely feel like play too. 

What Are the Best Sexual Stimulations for Couples?

Communication about desires and feelings in your sex life is important. This should be done in an open, honest, and respectful way. Both partners need to feel heard and satisfied. After all, sex should be enjoyable, not something that causes more stress than pleasure. One of the best ways to keep communication open and the frequency of intimacy from diminishing is to explore each and try something new every now and then. This can be just the spark you need!

From CBD and intimacy to sex toys for couples – a little imagination and online shopping are the easiest ways to boost your sex life!