Whether you want to improve your love life or simply get the best out of it, a sex journal could be just the tool for you!
It can help you better understand what it is about sex that you like and why. If you and your partner want to move towards better experiences in the bedroom, then it is also a great opportunity to both write your own separate journals.
Journaling, whether for sex or anything else, may be approached differently by each person. Some people prefer to take a factual approach where they journal their sexual encounters as is, what happened during those encounters, and how much they enjoyed them. For others, it’s more of an emotional approach geared towards fulfilment.
Either way you approach it, we’ll cover the basics to give you an idea of how to get started.
What is a sex journal?
Sex journaling is just that: journaling with a focus on your sex life, your sexuality, and whatever else that may mean to you.
Most people are familiar with journaling, and many already do it. However, a sex journal is more focused on your sexual encounters of course. It’s a place for you to note the thing that you would like to communicate with your partner. For example, these can be some kinky acts you may want to try, or kinky acts you would rather not try again.
A sex journal can also help you process your personal experiences. This is especially important if you are a BDSM and fetish enthusiast who likes to push boundaries and explore your desires.
Why would you keep one?
Although it’s obviously not necessary to keep one of these to maintain a healthy sex life, it can definitely help you achieve a better one. Some other examples of how journaling can help you include:
• Learning more about your own libido and what makes you tick
• Growing sexually and becoming more attuned to your and your partner’s needs in the bedroom
• Expressing your emotions in a safe place without judgement
How to start?
You could use your existing journal if you have one or simply get a new one. Once you have that, write down your intentions. What would you like to get out of your sex life? It’s important to be honest with yourself, after all, you’re the only one that will be reading it.
Now that you have a clearer idea of where you want to go with your journaling, here are some tips for each experience, or before one:
• Write down what makes you feel sexy
• Describe your sexual archetype
• Explore and record your fantasies (or new things you would like to try)
• Record and rate your experiences (also how you feel about them)
If you’re struggling to find something to write about. Consider the following questions that you can ask yourself:
• What were your arousal levels during the experience?
• Did you use any sex toys or props? How did you like them?
• How present did you feel in your body?
• Were there any emotional or physical blocks that you noticed?
• What sex acts are you currently curious or fantasising about?
Remember to also describe your feelings surrounding your sexual experiences and not just the sex itself.
Journaling may not be for everyone but that does mean anyone at least can try it. If you are serious about improving your sex life overall, then it may just be the icing on the cake.
If writing isn't your thing, you can also use pictures or keywords. The idea is to just note where you are in consideration to where you want to be. In the end, the goal is to live a sexier life.