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WHAT IS BDSM AFTERCARE?

The BDSM lifestyle is an exciting journey that includes many worthwhile tips for safe sessions. But your aftercare is just as important.

When it comes to a successful BDSM session, it’s not just about the hardcore scenes, but also about well planned, proper aftercare.  There are so many ways and activities to ensure that this happens, for both Doms and subs.

If you take care of yourself and your partner after a great BDSM session, then your time together will definitely keep getting better and better. Your experience will also greatly improve with the right sex toys that are made specifically for BDSM and fetish activities.

Why is aftercare important?

Simply put, BDSM can put your body under strain, physically and mentally. Being disciplined, spanked, cuffed and whipped are all tantalising but can cause some body aches long afterwards. 

By taking the time to properly care for yourself or your partner after any BDSM activities, you’re making it easier to get back into the swing of things sooner. You’re also bonding with your partner and showing them that you care about their wellbeing because at the end of the day, it’s not just about the lovely pain, but also long-term pleasure.

You may experience a sub-drop

As you probably already know or have experienced, a BDSM session is thrilling and intense in many different ways. This is why it can sometimes leave a submissive, or a Dom, feeling a little down.

It’s called a “sub-drop” and is usually experienced by a submissive after the intense biochemical high they get from all the dopamine and serotonin their brain pumped out during the BDSM. Afterwards, your body doesn’t have enough happy juice left and so you may feel exhausted. The good news is that this is only temporary, and you may be begging for your next session soon.

Aftercare is for both the sub and Dom

It doesn’t matter if you are taking a submissive or Dominant role in BDSM. It is important for both partners to make sure any BDSM session ends on a positive note and that everyone can leave happy and healthy.

This may also mean that you should establish physical and emotional boundaries with your BDSM partner. These may include an in-depth discussion of fantasies, hard limits, soft limits, and safe words.

What does aftercare consist of?

Depending on what kind of a BDSM session you have, you could do one or more of the following aftercare activities.

1. Bath

Your muscles need to be given the chance to relax, cool down, and start repairing themselves. Your heart needs to be given time to relax, and your brain needs a few minutes to cut its way through the hormonal and emotional fog. Drawing a warm bath for your partner (or for the two of you to share) might be the ultimate example of aftercare. Filling it with a bath bomb or warm bubbles only adds to the ambience, and the warm water soothes tired achy muscles. Consider lighting scented candles or incense to aid the mood.

2. Spend time alone

Go to the gym or meditate if you need to. Sometimes, we need to have alone time after being with someone else for a while. This just helps us to think and reflect.

3. Cuddle/sleep

Chances are, you’re going to be tired. So, the best option may just be to lay your head down, hold your partner, and sleep.

4. Journal

Write down the best and the worst of the specific scene, what you’d like next time and what you don’t want next time and the emotions you felt. Write future goals and changes you’d like to accomplish. 

5. Reflect Together

Speak about the experience and give praises. Talk about ways to spice up the experience next time or create role play scenarios

The aftercare kit

Aftercare is all about pampering and nurturing. Put the following items aside in a bag or box and have them ready any time you may need them.

• Water 

• Warm socks, a bathrobe, and a comfy shirt

• Pain killers, or vitamins 

• Energy drinks 

• Slippers 

• First Aid Kit 

• Moisturising lotion

• Snacks 

• Sex toy cleaning

• Wet wipes

• Massage oil

TIP: You can ask the following questions as part of your aftercare routine:

• How did that go for you?

• Did we need to use a safe word? If so, why?

• Was something triggered or activated?

• If you didn't use a safe word, how did it go for each person?

• What was really exciting?

• What was safe? 

• What do we want to keep as part of our repertoire?

• What would we want to ditch for the next time?

Conclusion

BDSM is fun, beautiful and exciting, but it can become a progressively better experience if you take proper care of your self and your partner. BDSM aftercare is your gateway to a long and healthy BDSM journey. Some sex toys and supplements can also help you achieve a better BDSM experience, from massage oils to good quality cuffs.