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Let’s be honest, we all have a fetish. Some are more unusual than others, but they all help keep our sexual lives interesting and fulfilling. It’s not really important what your fetish is, just that you enjoy it with consenting adults at the right time and place.

Here are 5 of the biggest fetishes in South Africa:

1) Swinging

Starting off our fetish list is swinging. This involves married couples having sex with other married couples. The difference between this and cheating is that it’s with the full consent of both partners. With sex becoming more acceptable and open, many married couples are discovering the rush from seeing a partner have sex with someone else.

Although swinging can be outrageously fun, it should be approached cautiously. If not, there could be feelings of jealousy, low self-esteem, and trust issues. If you’re ready to explore sex with other married couples, then you should try visiting a swinger’s club to meet suitable partners face to face.


Many would have heard about this fetish, especially in recent years with films such as Fifty Shades of Grey. BDSM involves bondage, domination and submission, sadism and masochism. However, unlike popular myths, it doesn’t involve intimidation or coercion. It relies entirely on consent. Two trusting partners decide to do a complete power exchange, which can either be a once-off or full-time arrangement. The dominant and submissive in the relationship will agree on the boundaries and roles beforehand, making sure each partner is fulfilling their fantasy in the best way possible.

If you and your partner are considering BDSM, you could start small and work your way up. This might be something as simple as using a pair of handcuffs during sex just to see if you would be willing to pursue more serious BDSM activities. A mistake many couples make is to jump straight into the most extreme forms of BDSM and in so doing, get themselves confused or even worse, hurt.

3) Water sports 

This is a bit more on the extreme side of fetishes, but you would be surprised just how common it is. It relates to Urolagnia, the act of being aroused by urine. This takes many forms, from consuming it to bathing in it. Another common form of it involves watching someone pee, a big niche in porn. But probably the most famous way to enjoy water sports is through giving or receiving a “golden shower” – basically having someone pee on you or peeing on someone else.

When it comes to any fetish involving bodily fluids, it’s best to practice it with an understanding partner after you have both been tested for STIs. 

4) Role-play

Catering to those with a good imagination is sexual role play. It involves two or more people acting out different sexual fantasies, which can be anything. Some people might enjoy role-playing as a doctor, others might get a kink from being a student. You get the idea. Couples can bring role-play into the bedroom if they want to reignite some sexual energy or simply to experience a long-held fantasy in a safe environment.

Fantasy and role-play outfits are a good place to start to get into this fetish. You could also make the role-playing more realistic by researching some of the scenarios you would be interested in. If you fantasies about being a naughty nurse, for example, find out what they wear and how to act like one so you can get a true nurse experience.

5) Voyeurism and exhibitionism

Watching or being watched. This is probably the most accessible fetish out there in the sense that almost anyone can try it and possibly enjoy it. Many people find themselves getting excited when they see or even hear other people having sex. On the other hand, some of us may enjoy being watched while having sex. You may also enjoy simply being naked with others, such as being naked on a nudist beach or wearing revealing clothing at a club.

The most important part of this fetish is doing it in an appropriate environment. There are places, such as swinger’s clubs, that allow voyeurism and exhibitionism. But trying the same thing in a shopping mall could land you in some serious trouble.