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Bondage and restraint is a fantasy for some and a lifestyle for others. Sometimes all it takes is a pair of adult toys like handcuffs to spark a new fetish or turn a dormant bedroom into a pleasure palace. My partner and I decided to try out a pair of cuffs and discover how sexy restraint can be.

Part of the Fifty Shades of Grey Official Pleasure Collection and approved by author E.L James, the Promise to Obey handcuffs seemed like a good choice for us to experiment with restraint. What made them interesting is that they’re not a regular set of handcuffs. In fact, they offer upper arm restraint, which was something new and exciting for me and my partner Kathy.

Review of the 50 Shades Promise to Obey Cuffs:

The Unboxing

We were pleasantly surprised to find that the cuffs came with a Fifty Shades of Grey branded blindfold and door hanger. Although we weren’t planning on using the doorhanger, it is a nice touch. I can imagine couples using it in a hotel. The blindfold was well-made and comfortable. We decided it would be kinky to try it out together with the cuffs.

The cuffs were definitely of a high quality. The fabric was a soft satin that made them comfortable to hold and also made them more sensual. Beginners in restraint, which we were, would probably be turned on by these cuffs because of their luxury quality. On the inside of the cuffs is faux fur lining. This makes it feel good on your skin, even after wearing it for a long time.  

One other thing we noticed about the cuffs was that they were quite big. It says it is for both genders and all sizes and can be used on wrists and arms. They weren’t lying. That being said, they were very loose on my partner’s wrists, so much so that she could just wiggle them off. If you tighten them too much, however, the Velcro straps stick out, which doesn’t look pleasant. It could just be because my partner Kathy is very small. They were a little more secure on her upper arms, as is intended.

The Experience

Instead of one of us playing Dom and the other the sub, we decided to both take turns switching roles. Kathy started out as the sub. I put her arms behind her and fastened the cuffs around her upper arms. The Velcro makes it quick and easy to secure the cuffs, which is convenient since I don’t like wasting time when it comes to sex. I also placed the blindfold on her.

The next half hour was a mix of light discipline and awkward sex. With her arms behind her back, Kathy couldn’t really get into a comfortable position. Kneeling or standing was the best. This makes the cuffs excellent for discipline related activities but not so much for actual sex. After her turn, it was mine. The discipline, which involved a paddle, was kinky but not something I think I would want often. The sex with me being restraint was better. That’s because I could sit while Kathy mounted me.

What we enjoyed:

  • The cuffs looked fantastic. They really have a sensual and seductive design that makes them more exciting.
  • They feel soft and sexy. After our sessions together, Kathy and I didn’t feel like it irritated our skin at all, and it didn’t leave any marks.
  • They’re convenient. Putting them on and taking them off takes a few seconds and nothing more.

What we didn’t enjoy:

  • I couldn’t really use them on my partner’s wrists or ankles. The Velcro straps don’t close tight enough and stick out too much.
  • They are great for discipline and other fetish activities, but not so much for bondage sex, unless you enjoy awkward positions.


If you’re a beginner in the kink lifestyle or you just want something naughty to enjoy, then these cuffs will definitely work for you. They are also the perfect accessory for couples who are into the BDSM lifestyle and need quality restraints.

*Ted Vincent is an experienced writer who, together with his partner Kathy, uncovers sex-positive topics to help educate and inform readers across SA and the world. His insights are garnered from almost a decade researching and writing about Cape Town’s vibrant sex life.